Judy Phillips

Q. Tell us a little about yourself and your lifestyle.
A. I am a single woman in my 40s who has been involved with a loving and generous man named Dave for most of the past 16 years. I am also very close to my small but wonderful immediate family...my mother, sister, brother-in-law and two incredible nieces. I have a career in sales which keeps me active, mentally engaged and traveling a lot! My interests are very eclectic. They range from quiet times on the beach with a book to rock and roll concerts; from ballet to basketball; from social gatherings with friends or family to the peace that can only come from time spent alone. I lead a generally healthy lifestyle with regards to exercise and mostly good eating habits. I am the proverbial "glass half full" person which is not to say that I never complain or get down but rather, that I focus more on what I have than what I don't.

Q. Describe how you found your cancer, were you on 'watch' or did it sneak up on you?
A. My cancer completely snuck up on me. I had just turned 40 and went for my first mammogram. I had no history of breast cancer in my family, ate well, exercised, never smoked, drank very little, kept up with medical exams, etc. It was quite unexpected to learn that I had cancer but the shock came when I learned that it was an advanced stage 3 cancer.

In a strange way, when I heard the initial results from the mammogram, I actually was not surprised. I remember sitting in the waiting room before the test and reading the literature which said that 1 in 8 women would be diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime. I know that many women get this disease and ask "why me?" but I remember reading this brochure and thinking, "Why so many and why NOT me?" At that moment I was struck with the strangest sense of certainty that I was going to get the unwanted news that I had cancer.

Q. Following diagnosis, what helped you cope the most, and gave you strength?
A. I got strength from so many places but particularly my family and friends of course. I also had amazing support from work colleagues as well as other survivors whom I had been put in touch with. I never avoided speaking of the fact that I had cancer, never tried to keep it a secret, and as a result I had a lot of people reach out to me in different and wonderful ways.

I also got strength from reading books which gave me ideas on how to fight, mostly ideas on diet, exercise, vitamins, etc. Much of it I was already doing and I cannot really tell you if any of them helped me endure the treatments or whether they increased my survival chances. All I know is that they gave me back some sense of control over my fight and my body and that gave me emotional strength.

Q. How has breast cancer changed your outlook on life?
A. I think the biggest change is that for the first time you really truly know that it CAN happen to you. Everyone says that they know that, but none of us really believes it. In a way it's a loss of innocence but in another way, it leads you to focus even more on what is positive and good in your life because of course, those are the things you are fighting so hard to live for.

When you have endured a year of feeling so weak and almost not knowing yourself or your own body because everything feels so foreign, it is amazing the joy you can feel in just being able to do what you always did before you were sick. It sounds so corny, but a walk on a beautiful day or a family outing where everyone is laughing, or even a particularly good day at work can feel momentous!

I will never tell you that having cancer was a good thing but I will tell you that there is good that can come of it if you allow yourself to see it. You gain perspective and clarity and believe it or not, it can be somewhat liberating. After all, you have faced what most people fear most and overcome it...what's left to fear?

Q. What advice would you give to someone who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer?
A. I think the best advice I give people is don't listen to advice!! You should do what feels right to you. When I was first diagnosed, people had so many suggestions about what the right books to read were or the importance of support groups or all of the various resources I should tap into for more education. I have to say, I was OVERWHELMED! Even the advice of "stay positive" was a burden. What if I had a dark day? (which I certainly did!) Would my chances for recovery be less?

Ultimately, I did go to a support group, and there were certain books I read, and I did have a positive attitude just as I always had, but I had to get to those things in my own time. I followed my instincts and did things when I was ready, and if I needed some help, I asked for it. When I speak to women now who are going through this, I try to just listen, answer their questions and share my experience. Let them take from that what they will.

Q. How has The Breast Cancer Research Foundation been helpful to you?
A. It's all about the research!! Had I been diagnosed with such an advanced case 10 or even 5 years earlier, who knows whether I'd be here today to tell my story? I know that it is the research being done that helped me survive my illness, and will be what helps me survive should my cancer recur. More importantly, it is the research that will hopefully prevent my mother, my sister, my nieces and all of the women important in my life from ever getting such a diagnosis. That's the dream, and I sincerely believe that continued research can make it come true!